Random Acts of Kindness
by D Veleniet
Summary: "Believe me, leaving them like that was kinder." "Kinder!" Clara's eyes widened, her nostrils flaring as she followed him around the console, too restless to even fold her arms across her chest. "They suffocated, Doctor – they died, gasping for air right in front of us – and YOU didn't even TRY to help them!"


**Author's Note: **Though it's been kicking around in my brain for a while, this started in response to a day of being told my feelings weren't valid about the casting of the Twelfth Doctor and wound up as…something else. Whoops. :-p Enjoy!

* * *

"Why?"

The Doctor slammed the TARDIS doors, stalking towards the console. "Don't ask me anymore, Clara."

"Oh, right, yeah." She stomped after him. "Sure. I won't ask you why we just let _two completely defenceless creatures die_ when we were right there and could've –"

"There was nothing to be done." He cut her off, flipping a few switches a bit more forcefully than usual. "It would've…believe me, leaving them like that was kinder."

"_Kinder_?!" Clara's eyes widened, her nostrils flaring as she followed him around the console, too restless to even fold her arms across her chest. "They _suffocated_, Doctor – they died, gasping for air right in front of us – and _you_ didn't even _try_ to help them!"

He still wouldn't look at her. "The Enclurandi are a very particular species. They calibrate their instruments of punishment in a way that would've required more…finesse to release them. It wouldn't have worked." He waved an abrupt hand as though it dismissed the matter.

His seeming nonchalance made her jaw tighten. "Since when did we start just _walking away_ from people who needed our help? When did we stop even _trying_ to help?!"

He turned his head sharply, addressing the floor near her feet. "We stop trying to help when we know that we can't."

"And how many times has that ever stopped you?" Her voice rose in her incredulity. "How many times have we thrown ourselves into situations that are completely hopeless, where there's _no_ chance of anything working out or anyone getting out alive, and yet – we _always_ try! Ensuring their death wasn't a fixed point, was it?"

"No, but –"

"Then _why_, Doctor?" She followed him as he started moving around the console again. "Why didn't we even try?"

He stopped suddenly, his gaze fixed on the console, hands resting on two of the switches. He squeezed them in a white-knuckled grip, his lips pressing into a thin line. His exhalations were audible. "Because."

She grabbed his shoulder, forcing him to look at her. "That's not good enough!"

He was almost glaring at her, but her fiery rage met his, clashing with it. She pushed on, her voice shaking with suppressed emotion. "You just made me watch two people die for no reason. You _owe_ me an explanation."

He threw his hands up in irritated defeat as he turned back to the console, bracing himself. "As I said, the Enclurandi are a peculiar species – entirely telepathic for one, but also empathic and sensitive. Their…relations with one another are what they esteem the most and so their punishments are centred around that. The instruments are calibrated to match this, so…to release the offenders would've required contact between two other creatures."

"Contact? So…what? You - hold hands and touch the glass to let them out?"

"No." His head moved like he was trying to shake her off. "They're calibrated to measure things like heart rate, carbon dioxide and oxygen cycles, blood pressure – holding hands wouldn't have worked. The levels wouldn't have been high enough."

Clara's brow wrinkled as she processed this. "Unless we'd held each other's hands and…jumped up and down? Run in place?"

The Doctor closed his eyes, grimacing the way he always did when he felt like she was lagging behind. "No – the Enclurandi are emotional creatures. Those activities wouldn't have released the chemicals needed. It needed…a short burst of a high level of endorphins."

"So…some form of emotional contact that increases heart rate, breathing, blood pressure…" She trailed off as she noted how still he'd become, as though he'd all of a sudden wanted to escape her notice altogether. She folded her arms across her chest, possibly to prevent herself from smacking him. "Hang on…are you saying that – we just left two people to _die_ because _you_ were too afraid…to _snog me_?"

His head snapped towards her. "No. I'm not saying that."

She raised her shoulders exasperatedly. "Then what?"

His look was turning thunderous, the muscles of his jaw clenching.

But Clara wouldn't back down. "I've seen you snog everyone – you love kissing people and things – you're the _kissiest_ man I've ever known! So why couldn't you snog me when it was to _save_ two peoples' lives?"

He turned to face her, his barely checked frustration evident in every stiff sweep of his hands. "The instruments are calibrated very specifically – they're time-sensitive. A short burst of energy was needed, but anything else would've overridden the system."

"Time-sensitive?" Her arms tightened around herself, and she had to take a breath to speak calmly. "So – what? You're saying you wouldn't have been able to snog me for a _few seconds_ to save two people?" She couldn't help but scoff at such a ridiculous notion.

"Yes, I am saying that."

His curt reply was so immediate that it made her gape at him, a lump finding its way into her throat. She tore her stinging eyes from him, biting the inside of her lips and shaking her head. "Well…I would've _suffered_ through it if it'd had meant the possibility of saving them." She cut her eyes back at him, hoping her indignant anger eclipsed how he'd wounded her. Still smarting from the effects of his remark, she turned on her heel and began to walk away with her head held deceptively high.

"You want to know why?" His soft tone belied the twinge of something coiled underneath.

She stopped, but did not turn back.

"You want to know why I let them die? Why I _chose_ to let them die instead of trying to help them?"

Now she did turn, her fury boiling up once more. "You already explained –"

"Why I let them suffocate?" He started moving towards her, his eyes blazing with something that could've been mistaken for anger. "Why I knew we couldn't save them?" He stopped in front of her.

"I –"

He seized her face and crushed his lips to hers, the momentum almost knocking her off her feet. Though his lips did not part, they moved over hers, crashing into hers again and again whilst his hands fiercely grappled with her head. She melted into him after a few shocked seconds, her arms winding behind his neck, fingers stroking at his nape, clutching and pulling him deeper into the kiss, making them moan into each other's mouths. He finally broke off, and she could hear his breathing matching her own, her eyes still glued shut from the unexpected tidal waves of feeling that accompanied snogging the Doctor.

"More than a few seconds would've triggered an override of the system." His voice was ragged as he attempted to regain control of his breathing. "The gasses inside the glass would've ignited and they'd have burned to death instead." He pushed himself away from her, making her finally open her eyes. His look was morose. "I thought letting them suffocate was kinder."

Clara's mouth opened but no sound came out. She swallowed, struggling to find her voice. "Yeah," she finally managed. "I guess...I can see that."

He aimed an accusatory look in her direction but couldn't quite meet her eyes.

"Just…" She stepped towards him, her voice deliberately gentle. "Do you know what were they being punished for? I mean – what crime had they committed?"

He laughed bitterly, shaking his head. "They're a misogynist species. Only the male was guilty, but the female was held responsible as well."

"Of what?"

He was quiet for a moment, eyes downcast. "He was…a widower. That's a sacred bond to the Enclurandi, one that should survive death. But he'd…coveted another woman." He raised his eyes to hers slowly. "Developed…feelings for her."

Her heart pounded in her ears. "And she returned them." It was probably supposed to be a question, but his face told her it didn't need to be.

He held her gaze as he nodded. "Yes. I suppose she did."

She took another step, tentatively reaching a hand out and letting it fall on his shoulder. "Then – you made the right decision. And…I guess I forget that – we really can't save everyone."

He shook his head, gazing mournfully at her.

She wrapped her arms around him then, enclosing him in a tight embrace. He gradually returned it, holding her to him, emitting a soft whimper as she nuzzled into his jacket. "You know – as barbaric as their rules and punishments are, at least the Enclurandi gave them one thing."

His fingers had found her hair, stroking her head softly. "What's that?"

She sighed into him. "They let them die together. In each other's arms."

Another soft noise escaped his throat as he buried his nose in her hair. "Yes…at least they had that. I suppose in the end…that was kinder."

They stayed that way a long time.

*_Fin*_


End file.
